Yeas & Nays

Yea to it being week five. You know, we don’t really care that we haven’t slept well all week, not turned in assignments or studied as much as we should have. We have big smiles on our faces and a newspaper to print.

Nay to once again finding spiders. Most of the time we are tolerant of our eight-legged friends, but sometimes they just scare the bejezus out of us. Like the one time we pulled back the covers and found an enormous one laying in wait for us to eat off our faces while we slumbered obliviously.

Yea to the incoming class of football recruits. Let’s hope their performance lives up to all the promise.

Nay to lingerers.

Yea to Beyonce. We knew you had it in you girl. We don’t care what they said about the inauguration, you made the lights go out in New Orleans. And we’ll forgive you for not singing “Bills, Bills, Bills” when the rest of Destiny’s Child appeared on stage. We love you.

Nay to carrying on and having a swell time at a party, when all of a sudden a drunk child shows up and spills FourLoko all over you.

Yea to loving where you work.

Nay to being married to your job instead of enjoying someone else.

Yea to someone liking you.

Nay to realizing they’ve liked you for a long time because once again you were oblivious to it for six months and acted like a butthead for most of it. Sometimes we wish we weren’t so dense.

Yea to falling asleep in class because you were tired from being up all night long.

Nay to alarm clocks.

Yea to afternoon naps in your office.

Nay to puppies.

Nay to puppies in cups.

Yea to Joe Burton. We really want to see him in a series of YouTube shorts where he stars as a Shaft like detective who uncovers crime and stands up for the little guy. We have some scripts written — all we need is a funding source.

Nay to not having insurance and then having to visit the dentist. Who knew it cost $500 to yank a tooth out.

Yea to living in the only industrialized country without nationalized health care. These colors don’t run!
Yea to university officials addressing student concerns about tuition increases. Let’s hope they take some action instead of continuing to hire more and throw up more buildings. Tuition is too damn high.

Nay to it being a weekend we will be devoting to doing homework and watching the grey sky listlessly from the upper floors of the Valley Library. You should study too children, except we know you are just going to spill FourLoko on others. Stay sticky, children.

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Editorials serve as means for Barometer editors to offer commentary and opinions on issues both global and local, grand in scale or diminutive. The views expressed here are a reflection of the editorial board’s majority.