Yeas & Nays

Yea to a new term. Last term was a little rough; we barely passed some classes so we’re glad to turn a new page. Thank goodness for being able to S/U.

Nay to having to be back at school. We’re not quite ready.

Nay to the streets of Corvallis once again being filled with the debauched, staggering masses. We enjoyed the quiet nights, the vomit not appearing on our lawns and the empty streets.

Yea to getting a shotgun and a baseball bat from your dad for Christmas. We think he wants us to rob a liquor store.

Nay to violence perpetrated by guns.

Nay to robbery. We don’t encourage it.

Yea to dropping 8 a.m. classes before they even begin. What were we thinking? We know we can’t wake up that early.

Nay to missing the first day of class because you got a flat tire on your bike.

Yea to the City of San Antonio.

Nay to bigot Texan taxi drivers hating Oregon because AM radio told him so.

Nay to Texas.

Yea to helpful sisters giving you a hand with jumping your car.

Nay to Barack Obama trying to take our guns away.

Yea to Barack Obama trying to take our guns away.

Nay to crazy psychopaths with weapons, be they AR-15s, K-Bars or a ball point pen.

Nay to pointless lectures. OK aging hippy professor dude with a pony tail, we understand we need to respect other people’s opinions and differences — we went to third grade. No need to waste 30 minutes of your class telling us that.

Yea to “Django Unchained”. We are considering naming our first born Django now.

Nay to the slogan on your banner getting confused with the one on your coworker’s banner. This was the first step in building our cult of personality. How are we supposed to become a dear leader now? We think a visit to reeducation camps are in order for those responsible.

Yea to purges.

Nay to budgets and budget time. Don’t you know we would much rather be profligate with public money and not be accountable.

Yea to having art in your office.

Nay to someone muttering stuff while you’re typing.

Yea to getting drinks with him later.

Nay to getting drinks. Once again, we discourage you from drinking. It is bad for your health, and illegal if you’re a child. Go drink some chocolate milk and watch “Downton Abbey.”

Yea to singing karaoke to the Daft Punk song “One More Time.” Almost as entertaining as just dancing to it.

Yea to it being the Friday of week one. No assignments are due yet, a feeling of irresponsibility is in the chilly air and we expect to see the worst this weekend — even though you should all stay safe, be respectful to your neighbors and keep your noses clean. Stay frosty children.


Editorials serve as means for Barometer editors to offer commentary and opinions on issues both global and local, grand in scale or diminutive. The views expressed here are a reflection of the editorial board’s majority.