Valentine’s Day is for kids

Valentine's Day is traditionally considered a romantic holiday where couples can celebrate their love for each other, usually by buying chocolates, jewelry and flowers. There are some interesting statistics about how obsessed some people are with Valentine's Day, and what lengths they will go to to prove they have love, give love and actually mean it on Feb. 14.

 For example, 53 percent of women claim they would end their relationships if they did not get something for Valentine's Day; more than 190 million roses are sold for Valentine's Day alone. Even when not part of a couple, people want to feel loved — 14 percent of women send themselves flowers for Valentine's Day.

Regardless of the obsession, it is odd that the largest number of Valentine's Day cards is given to teachers, followed by children. More than any other time I can remember, elementary school was certainly the time when Valentine's Day meant the most. It seems ridiculous, and it is, but memories of Valentine's Day always seem to go back to third or fourth grade, when my class would spend the whole day cutting and gluing red and pink paper hearts and having gift exchanges.

Surprisingly, it did not seem mortifying for the boys, as long as there were drawings of cars on the cards. The whole thing was not romantic and it certainly did not seem that meaningful; it just seemed like another way to show kids how to be nice to each other and get along. It was fun, and it was a day to avoid doing math problems in class.

Like much of life, being an adult has entirely and unnecessarily complicated this holiday. Between elementary school and college, things have obviously changed with puberty and hormones and whatnot, but Valentine's Day has turned into such an anxiety-ridden chore of a day. Instead of giving Valentines to those they care about, and celebrating their affection for each other and the spirit of love in general, people have treated it as a TV reality show.

There is so much competition and so much anguish about gift-giving and personal gestures that the entire framework of the holiday is shifted. Rather than a celebration of love and happiness, it has turned into an evaluation — an exam to determine if a relationship is strong enough, or if people really care about each other at all. It becomes about the self, rather than the other, and about proving oneself to an adored spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. It should not have to be so intense. A true celebration of love between people or a couple should last longer than one day ­— such exhaustive efforts should not even be necessary in the first place.

It is hard to say when this kind of attitude and action regarding Valentine's Day came about, because it does not rely on any kind of novel cultural standards, and the holiday is not specific to just one location (it is celebrated across the globe).

But perhaps, as creepy as it might be, the Valentine's Days of childhood can shed some light onto the chaotic and obsessive mess that is has become for couples in love. If one is in a relationship I am not advising them to make Valentines for everyone else and put themselves in serious trouble, but I would advise that people stop worrying about it so much and focus on the other person rather than themselves.

After Christmas, Valentine's Day is the biggest card-giving day of the year. But what is the difference between sending a significant other a text message saying "I love you!" on a random Wednesday in August, and a Hallmark card with little red hearts on Feb. 14? There is so much pressure, people become too preoccupied with what they are going to do and what they are going to get that the message can become blurred. And it is a simple message that everyone can understand.

There are too many single (and married) people grouching about how evil Valentine's Day is, and I do want to impart some spectrum of hope and good will regarding the holiday. So please, everyone, try and have a truly happy Valentine's Day.

Kirk Pederson is a senior in English. The opinions expressed in his columns do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Barometer staff. Pederson can be reached at forum@dailybarometer.com.