Baseball Brawls: Leave your helmet at home

What's that in the sky? It's a bird! It's a plane! No wait, it's...it's a batting helmet traveling at a high velocity, barreling through the air and headed straight for the dome of a pitcher.

It is simply the start of yet another bench clearing brawl in a major league baseball game. The hitter is merely following what has become standard practice--he's gunning his helmet at the pitcher after running 20 or 40 feet towards the mound, in hopes of decapitating him, or at least taking off a limb.

Seem like a cheap move? It sure does to me. It's something I could see a two-year-old doing, mindlessly throwing things at whoever is the focus of the tantrum. But a grown man? In front of thousands of people? Recorded on tape to be replayed dozens of times to millions of television viewers? Pathetic.

But apparently Aramis Ramirez of the Pittsburgh Pirates thinks otherwise. On April 17, after determining that Brewers pitcher Ben Sheets hit him intentionally, Ramirez charged the mound, crow-hopped for extra power and threw his helmet at Sheets with all he had.

I understand that after getting hit by a pitch, a player is not going to be happy. And in some situations, where the hitter has good reason to believe it was on purpose, charging the mound and getting some direct payback is a perfectly acceptable course of action--it's part of baseball.

But there is an unwritten set of rules on how to behave in given situations. Don't steal a base when your team is up by six or more runs. Don't try to bunt for a hit when the opposing pitcher is working on a no-hitter. Don't jump and dance around the bases after hitting a home run--just jog the distance and do your celebrating in the clubhouse if it needs to be done. Don't look back at the catcher when you're hitting to see what signs he's giving the pitcher.

Breaking one of these rules will often result in getting a baseball to the middle of the back during your next at bat. And when that happens, the hitter has the option of charging the mound and knocking around the pitcher.

But there are still rules on how to act when starting a brawl. If they aren't part of the unwritten code of baseball, they are definitely part of the unwritten code of fair fighting. Knock off your helmet, drop your bat, and charge. Throw some punches. Make a tackle. Head butt the guy if you want. Do your best impression of The Rock--clotheslines, body slams, power-bombs--its all good. But have some respect for yourself; leave your helmet in the batters box.

Ramirez earned a seven game suspension, a fine and an injured right ankle for his effort, which was actually the second time he's hurled a helmet at a pitcher. His first was as a 19-year-old rookie in 1998. And I'm sure he'll do it again--whatever it takes to let everyone in the world know he orders soft tacos when he's hungry.

In 1999, a pitch thrown by the Angels' Troy Percival hit Dave Justice, then with the Indians. On the mound, Percival is 235 pounds of caffeine-induced fury, and if he can throw a baseball 100 mph, just think how hard he can punch. If you look closely at footage of Justice's charge, you can actually make out the moment when he realizes he's about 20 feet from the beating of a lifetime.

Not surprisingly, this is the point where he takes off his helmet and throws it at Percival's head, missing the mark completely, but also making Percival duck. You can't put your fist through someone's head when you're ducking. What's next, Davie? You gonna run out to the mound and scratch the next guy that hits you? Or maybe a nice hard bite? There's always pinching too.

Last season, Mike Sweeney got mad about something Tigers' pitcher Jeff Weaver said. He charged the mound, waving his helmet over his head, waiting for the right time to gun it. At about 10 feet away, the helmet was on a collision course with Weaver's head. Weaver had to duck, leaving himself vulnerable to getting tackled. I'm just surprised Sweeney didn't flip off Weaver's hat and start pulling his hair.

In each of these cases, the person throwing his helmet got fined or suspended, or both -- these are standard methods of discipline. But players are not learning. Additional repercussions are needed. Why not require Aramis Ramirez, Dave Justice, Mike Sweeney, and any other active player who has unloaded his helmet at a pitcher to send their jerseys in to the league office?

Once there, their last names should be taken off, and "Complete Tool" should be sewn on the back instead. Also, a target should be painted on the front of their helmets, so pitchers everywhere know where to put the next pitch. Maybe their whole uniform should be decorated with pretty pink flowers, so there's no confusion over the fact that these players are little girls. But don't stop there; additional pockets can be put in the pants for maxi-pad storage. One can only hope that these measures would stop the helmet throwing frenzies that brawls have become ... but then again, two-year-olds are pretty stubborn.

Bret Larsen is a sports writer for The Daily Barometer. He can be reached at 737-6378 or baro.sports@studentmedia.orst.edu.