Dating in college: Be honest, communicative

Dating in college is common for students. We are away from home and feel free to make our own decisions without our parents getting involved.

Yes, it’s fun to meet someone new because you think he or she is special and will make you happy — but don’t get it twisted. It’s easy for college students, or anyone, to get involved in an unhealthy relationship. This goes for any relationship — friends, family, Facebook official or unofficial.

Specifically regarding dating, due to our changing social nature and technology, intimate relationships are becoming less “traditional” which leaves a larger window for relationships to be unhealthy. The ways in which we meet people are no longer restricted to meeting through friends or at a low-key event. Students mingle more often at parties where the presence of drugs and alcohol can blur judgments. Students keep in contact over Facebook and through text messages, rather than phone calls or face-to-face interactions.

Relationships are becoming less intimate and less sincere.

Because of this insincerity, it’s become common to be involved in a violent relationship — which is a huge problem. There are several factors that come into play when discussing violent behavior; but people often forget violence refers to physical pain, mental pain and emotional pain. Due to the lack of intimate communication in our generation, our judgment as to what is acceptable, and what is not, has become obscured.

More than 40 percent of college students have been a victim of a violent relationship, according to the July 2008 article “Relationship Violence Common in College.” The article also stated emotional violence is just as common as sexual violence during college relationships.

Inflicting physical pain, extreme jealousy, belittling in any way, threats or forced sex are all signs of violent relationships, according to Syracuse University and University of Michigan’s counseling and sexual assault prevention pages.

The emotional signs in violent relationships, however, are the hardest to catch. If you don’t talk to your partner about what makes you feel bad, they won’t know. Boundaries have to be set from the beginning, and respect must always be implemented.

Respect, trust and fun times are some things to look forward to in a good relationship. It is the time to do things together that you both enjoy. We need to remember that relationships are supposed to make our lives better, not worse. Communicating regularly leads to trust.

There is absolutely no point in “relationships” you are not willing to put the effort into or ones that make you unhappy.

I hate to say it but it is becoming harder to find someone in college worth being committed to. I wouldn’t even consider “looking” to be the hardest part. Once you find someone you think is great and you start a relationship, staying in one becomes the harder challenge.

Relationships in college are great, but make sure you do them the right way. If you feel uncomfortable, that should be a red flag. It’s up to you and your partner to establish a healthy relationship with each other.

Don’t let yourself be involved in something unhealthy, because in the long run, someone is going to get hurt, and it’s not worth it.

Know what you want from your relationship before you get into one. Sure, your priorities might change but as long as you know your values and what’s important to you, you won’t have to worry as much about a bad situation. If you trust your instincts, you’ll know when you’re happy or you’ll know when something isn’t right.

It can be scary to start something new with someone you don’t know well, so be careful. Unfortunately, our dating habits are rapidly changing and most people just aren’t on the same page about dating anymore — especially in college. Be honest, open and communicative with yourself and your partner. In the end, go with your gut. You will know when it’s right.


Masami Wadama is a sophomore in business marketing. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Barometer staff. Wadama can be reached at forum@dailybarometer.com.