Classroom Protection Act: Protecting children from homosexuals

Homosexuals are the lead bullies out there causing problems. Obviously, the LGBTQ community has some anger management issues to work out — at least according to Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield (R-Knoxville).

Sen. Campfield called out homosexuals as the biggest bullies in a phone interview with the entertainment news website TMZ. Yes, he said this in an interview with TMZ, which is, according to Stephen Colbert, “the least gay of all news programs.” Sen. Campfield also told TMZ that comparing the gay rights movement with the African-American civil rights movement was “insulting to the civil rights movement of the black people.”

The reason Sen. Campfield thinks the gays are bullies is evident in his remarks to TMZ: “Most people don’t care about the homosexual community ... quit trying to ram it down everybody’s throats ... quit pushing it on everyone ... leave us alone.”

Despite his wish to just be left alone, Sen. Campfield isn’t leading by example.

His solution to the problem of the big, gay bullies used to be sponsoring a bill to “ban teachers from discussing homosexuality in schools” — because if you don’t talk about something, it isn’t happening. Because teaching abstinence in sexual education totally works, right?
For some reason, Sen. Campfield’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill didn’t pass in Tennessee’s House. Frighteningly, it did pass in the State Senate. However, he didn’t let the failure of his bill get him down; he has a new bill in the works now.

Sen. Campfield’s new bill is supposed to protect the morals of our students: The Classroom Protection Act, a.k.a., the-new-and-improved “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Last time the bill died after it took two years for the legislature to figure out that it would be pointless, as it prohibited discussion of homosexuality during sexual education classes for K-8 students — and there are no sexual education classes for K-8 students in Tennessee.

However, this new and completely different bill, S.B. 0234, states any information “inconsistent with natural human reproduction shall be classified as inappropriate for the intended student audience and, therefore, shall be prohibited.” Which is not the same thing as the previous “Don’t Say Gay” bill — not at all.

Additionally, while this new bill doesn’t prohibit the counseling of students who may be engaging or suspected of engaging in behavior “inconsistent with natural human reproduction,” it must be immediately reported to the parents of the child in question. I can only assume this is because the first step in stopping the big, gay bullies is one that happens at home — possibly involving a belt, or a fist.

Sen. Campfield’s first concern is for the children, obviously. Because, as he said in an interview with The Tennessean, “The act of homosexuality is very dangerous to someone’s health and safety.”

Sen. Campfield aims to protect these children by taking away all their safe spaces, by making all adults impossible to trust and by keeping them ignorant. Surely, this is a recipe for success.

Then again, this is the man whose theory on the history of AIDS, is it came from “one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men.” He then adds, possibly to make himself sound smarter, “It was an airline pilot, if I recall.”

Yes, Sen. Campfield, AIDS is all the fault of a single airline pilot — and sodomy in Africa, according to his phone interview with TMZ. Good job, Campfield; I know I certainly respect you more now.


Irene Drage is a senior in English. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Barometer staff. Drage can be reached at forum@dailybarometer.com.